What is common between Marriage and Language?

Author: Binny Abraham, PhD

Marriage and language—are they connected only by the rhyme, their eight characters, and the shared word “age”? Or is there something deeper that ties these two fundamental aspects of human existence together? Let’s explore the intriguing relationship between the two and uncover how communication, unity, and divine purpose intertwine them.

A Biblical Perspective on Multilingualism

The diversity of languages we see today originates from an event recorded in the Bible: the Tower of Babel. God, in His infinite creativity, introduced multilingualism to disrupt humanity’s misguided unity in building a tower to “reach the heavens.” Imagine the scene that unfolded within families that day! Husbands, wives, and children who once worked seamlessly together were suddenly at odds. A husband asks for a stone; the wife hands him an axe. The wife requests a saree, and the husband provides a rope. Chaos and confusion must have reigned as language barriers tore through their relationships.

Yet, this event serves as a reminder of the importance of communication, even within the most intimate of human bonds—families.

The Complexity of Communication in Marriage

Interestingly, even when couples speak the same language, their communication can still be challenging. Sociolinguists use the term idiolect to describe an individual’s unique way of speaking, shaped by personal experiences, preferences, and thought patterns. This means that every person, in essence, speaks their own “language.”

Husbands and wives may belong to the same culture and family, yet their distinct idiolects can make achieving perfect understanding nearly impossible. Disagreements over seemingly trivial matters often stem from these subtle differences in expression and interpretation.

In marriage, two individuals with unique personalities, opinions, and communication styles come together as “one flesh.” While they become united physically and emotionally, they remain two spirits with their own identities. The beauty and challenge of marriage lie in navigating these differences to build harmony and understanding.

A Unified Purpose Through God

The story of Babel carries a powerful lesson: humanity’s efforts to grow beyond God lead to confusion and scattering. In marriage, as in life, striving for self-serving goals without God’s guidance can result in frustration and misalignment.

However, when a couple seeks to align their relationship with God’s purposes, they experience a unity that transcends differences. Even if spouses “speak different languages” figuratively—or literally—they can achieve incredible harmony and purpose. God’s presence in a marriage serves as the foundation for mutual understanding, patience, and love.

Embracing Differences to Fulfill God’s Design

Marriage is not about erasing individuality but about blending two unique lives into a shared journey. By embracing each other’s idiolects, quirks, and distinct personalities, couples can grow together in unity. Communication may not always be perfect, but a shared commitment to God’s purpose makes all things possible.

So, does your spouse speak a different “language” than you? Take heart! Through God’s grace, your differences can become strengths. Together, you can accomplish greater things, no matter how unique your “languages” may be.