Be Fruitful and Multiply: A Biblical Perspective on Parenthood and Marriage

Author: Binny Abraham, PhD

God’s command in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful and multiply,” was given to Adam and Eve as a fundamental part of His plan for humanity. However, in today’s world, many couples are redefining marriage and family, leading to lifestyles such as Dual Income No Kids (DINK), Single Income No Kids (SINK), and even Dual Income No Kids With A Dog (DINKWAD). The population of DINKs in India has been growing at 30 per cent per annum, according to the Gitnux Market Data Report 2024. While some make these choices out of necessity, others do so for personal preference. This raises important questions: Is the deliberate choice to remain childless a rejection of God’s design? What does the Bible say about marriage, companionship, and the purpose of procreation?

Why Do Couples Choose Not to Have Children?

1. Financial Concerns: Many couples argue that they cannot afford to raise children. According to a 2021 report by the Pew Research Center, 61 per cent of millennials said they are not having kids because they simply cannot afford to. With increasing costs in education, healthcare, and daily living, they believe having fewer or no children ensures a better quality of life.

2. Health and Capacity: Some couples worry about their physical or mental ability to care for multiple children and opt for one or none.

3. Personal Fulfillment and Bonding: Others believe that life without children allows for better companionship, personal growth, and the freedom to pursue careers or travel without obligations. This shift reflects a broader societal transformation. Dr Gitanjali Natarajan, chief clinical psychology advisor at Niyama Digital Health Care, explains that the shift from a collectivistic, interdependent society to a more individualistic one has contributed to the DINK lifestyle. Individuals now prioritise personal freedom over traditional norms, including childbearing.

4. Medical and Circumstantial Reasons: Some desire children but face infertility or other medical challenges. Others turn to adoption as a means of fulfilling their longing for parenthood, whether out of necessity or conviction.

What If Adam and Eve Had Chosen to Be Child-Free?

Had Adam and Eve decided not to have children, humanity would not exist. God’s command to them was not merely a suggestion but a foundational part of His plan. Their obedience led to the multiplication of the human race, and through their lineage, the Messiah came to redeem mankind. This underscores the divine purpose of procreation—it is not merely about sustaining life but also about participating in God’s redemptive plan.

Marriage for Companionship Without Children—Is It Sinful?

The Bible acknowledges companionship as an essential aspect of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:9, Paul states, “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.” However, nowhere does the Bible command that every couple must have children. While childbearing is a natural outcome of marriage, choosing to remain childless is not explicitly labelled as sin. However, the motivations behind such a choice must be examined—are they rooted in selfishness or a genuine inability to bear children? Are couples prioritising personal comfort over God’s design for family and stewardship?

Among the top criticisms that DINK couples tend to invite is that of self-interest or selfishness. “This stigma can be especially challenging for women, who may feel the pressure to have children and prioritise family over their career or personal goals,” said psychologist Chetri. Before deciding to adopt a DINK lifestyle, she advises individuals to reflect on whether their decision is temporary or long-term, clarify their motivations, and ensure that they are not simply following societal trends.

Parenthood as a Spiritual Teacher

Having children teaches profound spiritual lessons. Many parents testify that becoming a father or mother deepened their understanding of God’s love and discipline. One father remarked, “I came to a good sense of the concept of the heavenly Father only when I became a father.” Another, who adopted a child, said, “I began to know the deeper meaning of spiritual adoption into God’s family only when I became an adoptive father.” Parenthood often refines character, builds patience, and fosters selflessness—qualities essential in a Christian walk.

One inspiring example is that of a friend who, along with his wife, started a children’s home about two decades ago. They have two biological children but have also welcomed many orphans into their home. Today, they care for around 50 children, lovingly raising them as their own. Their dedication reflects the heart of God, who calls His people to care for the fatherless and uphold the value of family.

Children: A Blessing, Not a Burden

Psalm 127:3 states, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.” Society often presents children as financial burdens or obstacles to personal freedom, but Scripture portrays them as blessings. While raising children requires sacrifice, it is also a privilege that shapes future generations and fulfills God’s command to multiply and fill the earth.

Should We Avoid Family Planning and Have as Many Children as Possible?

The Bible calls children a blessing, but it also upholds wisdom and stewardship in family planning. While “Be fruitful and multiply” is a divine command, it does not necessarily mean having as many children as biologically possible without any planning. In biblical times, large families were common due to agrarian lifestyles and high infant mortality. However, wisdom and prayerful discernment should guide family planning today. Couples should seek God’s will, balancing faith, responsibility, and their ability to provide.

Sexuality and Procreation—Can We Separate Them?

God designed sexual pleasure within marriage, but its primary purpose is not mere gratification. It is intrinsically linked to the creation of life. While contraception may be used responsibly, deliberately excluding children from marriage while indulging in sexual pleasure raises ethical and theological concerns. Are we stealing the gift of pleasure while rejecting the responsibility that comes with it?

Conclusion: Seeking God’s Will in Marriage and Family

The decision to have children—or not—should not be made lightly. While the Bible does not explicitly condemn child-free marriages, it does celebrate parenthood as a means of fulfilling God’s plan. Every couple should prayerfully consider their role in God’s design, evaluating their motivations and seeking His guidance in stewarding their marriage and potential parenthood. After all, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).