Rewriting the Story of Parenting

The beauty of the parent–child relationship through grace, humility, and love

Not long ago, a middle-aged couple received an unexpected gift—not one wrapped in paper and ribbon, but in time, thoughtfulness, and love. As they approached their 25th wedding anniversary, their adult children quietly planned a surprise: a five-day mystery getaway designed entirely for them.

The parents were handed a bag, a hug, and a note: “Trust us—just follow the instructions each day.” Each morning, they opened an envelope revealing the day’s plan—where to go, what to see, where to eat, and where to stay. They had no phones, no laptops, and no distractions—just each other and the open road.

From winding scenic drives to quiet moments under starlit skies, they reconnected in a way that only time and intention allow. For the couple, it was a breath of fresh air in a busy world. For their children, it was a silent declaration of gratitude—a way of saying, “Thank you for loving each other well and for loving us through it all.”

It wasn’t just a trip. It was a portrait of what every parent–child relationship can become: a story of mutual honour, sacrificial love, and deep joy.

A Two-Way Journey: What Scripture Reveals

The parent–child relationship is not simply about instruction and obedience—it involves mutual grace. While the Bible says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1), it also teaches, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Obedience and honour are foundations, but love and humility are the beams that hold the home together.

There will be moments, when parents must listen, yield, and even learn from their children. Parenting doesn’t end at adolescence—it transforms. Paul David Tripp captures it powerfully: “God hasn’t just sent you to do his work in the lives of your children; he will use the lives of your children to advance his work in you.”

Stewards, Not Owners

Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Parents are not owners but temporary stewards of God's gifts. Children are entrusted for a season—our role is to shape them, love them, and prepare them to walk with God on their own.

This stewardship includes discipline, but not domination. The Bible encourages wise correction: “Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise, you will ruin their lives” (Proverbs 19:18, NLT).

Yet, it also warns: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). We must never discipline out of rage. A rod is not a pestle, and our children are not grain to be crushed but tender shoots to be gently trained.

Love Between Parents: The Foundation Children Stand On

Perhaps the most lasting gift parents can give their children is the love they have for each other. The couple in the story didn’t just receive a holiday—they received back what they had sown: a legacy of unity. Children notice. When parents walk in mutual love, they create a safe, stable world for their children to grow in. “The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family”, said Mother Teresa. Your marriage is your first ministry to your children. When you honour one another, you give your children the tools to honour you and others.

The Highs and Lows of the Parenting Journey

Every parent hears both extremes from their children: “You’re the best dad or mom ever!” and “You don’t understand anything!” These swings are not failures—they are signs of relationship.

Parenting is filled with doubts, frustrations, and precious breakthroughs. You’ll teach your children a lot. But if you’re open, you’ll also learn from them—about patience, forgiveness, and wonder.

“Children are not things to be moulded, but are people to be unfolded.” Jess Lair

Across cultures, parents often hold dominant positions, expecting obedience without dialogue. But true leadership listens. God calls us to balance authority with empathy, discipline with understanding.

And through it all, we must remember: we are not the ultimate parent. We and our children share the same heavenly Father. We stand side-by-side as His children—growing, learning, and leaning on His grace.

What Are We Really Aiming For?

If parenting is only about producing the world’s next top doctor, engineer, or artist—we’ve missed the mark. Our real calling is more sacred. Again, in the words of Paul David Tripp: “Your job is to be God’s tool for the purpose of forming the image of God’s Son in your children.” God's design for the family goes far deeper than success or status. As Malachi 2:15 reminds us: "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring."

God is not merely after children who perform well in the world—but children who reflect His heart, His truth, and His ways. That’s why parenting is not just a responsibility—it’s a holy calling. Help your child know God, walk in His ways, and discover their purpose in Him. This is the kind of parenting that leaves an eternal legacy. As Matt Walsh puts it: “Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.”

A Final Word

The story of the mystery trip wasn't just about a vacation. It was about legacy. About grown-up children honouring their parents. About mutual love inspiring mutual respect. About grace passed down and given back.

So whether you're a young parent just starting out or an empty nester watching your children rise, remember this: parenting is not just a task—it’s a sacred journey. A journey where we are shaped even as we shape others. A journey filled with mistakes, miracles, and moments that become memories.

Walk it with grace. Walk it with God. And keep walking—even when it's hard. Your faithfulness today becomes the foundation for generations to come.